Total Drama FLIPPED
by scubadivingmaui7
Summary: What if the second cast of Total Drama wasn't actually second? What if Cameron, Dawn, and Anne Maria were veterans of three seasons? What if the original players were all newcomers? How would this change Total Drama? How would the seasons play out? Where would our favorite characters be? An alternate universe retelling of Revenge of the Island.


Finally, I'm back! (It's been... what, a month?) Sorry for the hiatus. I finished the rough draft of my novel, but I didn't like how it turned out, and decided to make a rewrite, and most of my writing time was taken up by planning for that. Studying for finals also didn't help. However, now it's summer, and I should have lot more time! REJOICE BROTHERS AND SISTERS!

Fans of Total Drama Ocean, don't worry. That will still be main fic. I just had to get this idea off my chest. How far I go with it will depend on reader reception and personal preferences. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer** I do not own Total Drama.

* * *

_This is an alternate universe fanfic in which Total Drama plays out almost exactly the same, save for one major detail: the casts are flipped. This means the second cast, consisting of Mike, Zoey, Sam, and the like, are now the veterans of three seasons, while the original cast, including Gwen, Owen, and Ezekiel, are newbies. How will this change affect the universe of Total Drama? How will the "new" cast react to their first big break on television? When will I finally update Total Drama Ocean? Find out right now... on Total... Drama... FLIPPED!_

* * *

"We've been to the movies. We've been around the world. But now, we're taking it back to where it all began… Camp Wawanakwa!"

A human figure, propelled by a jetpack, shot over the now familiar island and landed on the rickety dock. Camp Wawanakwa had obviously not seen much use since the end of the first season. The dock of shame, already badly built before, was now falling apart, gaping holes scattered haphazardly throughout its structure. The cabins and mess hall, seen in the background, were in similar ramshackle states, shingles falling of the roofs even as Chris spoke. But the long-abandoned camp's changes held almost nothing when compared to Maclean himself. The familiar television host had undergone some radical changes. His black, ever-styled hair was now pure white, ending with a long ponytail that ran down his back. He wore thick shades, hiding his eyes, and his navy blue button-up shirt and khaki shorts had been replaced with a black suit. Chris was well-known for his casual hosting attire, making him seem both professional and approachable, but this new look let off a much more malevolent impression.

"As you can see, things have changed a lot around here," said Chris, walking down the dock and accepting a coconut drink from a spiky-haired intern in a red shirt and cargo shorts. As if to drive the point home, one side of the "WAWANAKWA" sign fell off of its post, creating yet another hole in the already-decrepit structure. "And by changed, I mean gotten really, really _deadly._"

A giant tentacle rose from the water behind them, and Chris stepped aside as it slammed into the dock, taking out a good portion of the wooden structure and the intern with it. Chris sipped his drink. "But the rules of the game remain the same. A group of unsuspecting teenagers will be forced to live together in bug-infested cabins, air their dirty laundry in our outhouse confessional, and compete in life-threatening challenges. After every challenge, the losing team will have to vote someone out amongst them. The last camper standing will be given a prize of one million dollars!" Chris peered out over the ocean. "And speaking of our cast, here they come now!"

A yacht covered in partying youngsters raced toward the island. Mike and Zoey chatted near the railing, reminiscing about where they started their relationship, on this same island, nearly two years ago. Sam and Dakota were kissing passionately, the once overweight gamer now looking quite lean after three seasons of the physically demanding show. Anne Maria sprayed hairspray all over her famous poof, unwittingly suffocating Cameron, who had made the poor decision of standing beside her. Blaineley, a thirty-year old television personality who had ended up competing in barely two episodes due to a fluke, stared disapprovingly at the much younger contestants around her. The nature loving Dawn giggled at her boyfriend B as the silent boy danced, and superfan Sierra held her blushing more-than-a-celebrity-crush Brick to her chest. Scott stared at the oncoming island, his eyes narrowing as he recalled unhappy memories, which were interrupted when Lightning crashed into him while attempting to catch a frisbee, sending them both toppling overboard. On the boat's upper levels, Jo frowned at her boyfriend / rival Alejandro, who had scooped her up in his arms, still suited up in the drama machine from his lava incident a year ago. Staci perched at the bow and panted joyfully, her skin still tinged green after spending an entire season cooped up in a plane's cargo hold.

* * *

The very first Total Drama season, Total Drama Island, had taken place at Camp Wawanakwa two years prior. These thirteen young contestants had signed up to spend a summer at the run-down camp, hoping to make friends, try a new experience and, if they were lucky, win the grand prize of 100,000 dollars. After five weeks and eleven eliminations, Sam and Zoey finally managed to defeat Jo, who had used her cutthroat every-man-for-herself attitude and physical strength to bully and intimidate the others all the way to the top. Zoey and Sam competed in the finale and, in an unforeseen twist, the out-of-shape and physically unfit gamer Sam won the prize, going home with an adoring girlfriend, several new game systems, and throwing a huge party for all those who had suffered through the season with him.

The second season, Total Drama Action, took place on an abandoned movie studio and introduced Hollywood-themed challenges, but was less well-received due to the cast being split nearly in half, second fan-favorite couple Sam and Dakota being booted out first to host the less-than-entertaining Aftermath show, and first fan-favorite couple Zoey and Mike breaking up due to executive meddling (and then being voted out). After being kicked out almost immediately in the first season due to his stupid plan, Scott came up with a new plot which got him pretty far in the game, until a bitter Anne Maria sued her way back onto the show and ended up out-villaining him. The Jersey girl was eventually defeated, and Dawn taught Lightning about the joys of selflessness in the finale, resulting in the usually overcompetitive athlete giving her half of his winnings to donate to rainforest conservation.

Total Drama World Tour dragged its contestants around the world on a jumbo jet, competing in culture-themed challenges at different corners of the globe. This season introduced two new characters: Alejandro, a ladies' man who seemed sweet but in reality was a ruthless schemer, and Sierra, a crazed superfan who had been obsessed with Brick since Season one (the poor cadet had faced worse in military school). Blaineley was also hired to host this season's Aftermath, though ended up in the game for a few episodes after an unwise skirmish with Sam. Jo, now scorned by her teammates who knew all her tricks, tried desperately to prove that she was worth keeping around. Luckily, the jockette was given a break when Mike's alternate personality Vito broke out and created a love triangle with Anne Maria, drawing all attention to them and allowing Jo to pass through the game unscathed. Along the way, she saw through Alejandro's sickly sweet exterior and the two began a fierce rivalry. In the end, Brick demonstrated his famous loyalty by giving up the million dollars to rescue Sierra, and Jo and Alejandro's final struggle led to them admitting their feelings for each other, a kick in the groin, Alejandro's cooling off with a lava bath, and Staci accidentally dropping the money in a volcano (after having been voted off first in Season one and not even competing in Season two, the compulsive liar had been so determined to win that she stowed away in the plane's cargo hold the whole season and reverted into a Gollum-like creature). The season ended with the competitors heading into the sunset as they swam for their lives from a volcanic eruption. Needless to say, the producers decided that it was high time to try something different.

* * *

The boat headed for the dock – but sped right past it, not so much as slowing. "No!" Lightning wailed, the eager athlete's cry fading with the boat.

"No," Chris chuckled. "Not those contestants. This season, we're introducing twenty-two new contestants! And here they come now! For real!"

A second boat was now speeding towards the dock, an all new crowd of people on it. "Please welcome… Justin, Sadie, and Katie!"

A green-shirted boy with muscular build, dark skin tone, a dreamy smile, and impossibly handsome features stood at the bow, surveying the island beyond. Two giggling BFFs, one large and Oriental while the other thin and African, stared at him lovingly. "Oh, I know we were excited about being on Total Drama, but it's even better now that we're going to be living with an angel!"

"Oh, I know, Sadie!" said the thin one. "Catch me!" She fainted from Justin's unadulterated beauty, but Sadie was too busy staring and her BFF fell to the deck.

"Courtney, Trent, and DJ!"

"Pleasure to meet you all," said Courtney, shaking hands with the other two.

"Yeah, you too," said Trent.

"Cheers, sister," said DJ, bumping her fist.

"Gwen, Ezekiel, and Owen!"

The shaggy prairie boy looked nervously at the goth girl sulking over the railing, having never seen anyone with such strange hair or fashion choice. "Hey there, eh," he said, extending an unsteady hand. "I'm Ezekiel."

Gwen frowned at the outstretched hand, and looked back out at the ocean. "Don't talk to me."

"Aw, what's wrong, are you upset?" Owen, a food-loving teenager of gargantuan proportions, said. "Don't be sad! We're all here to have fun! Here, hug it out." Before Gwen could object, Owen gave her a bone-crunching squeeze, hugging her to his chest.

"Harold, Lindsay, Heather, and Noah!"

"And this is my badge for bass-fishing, this one's for basketry, and this one's for underwater basket weaving," said the lanky nerd, pointing them out to the attractive blonde. Lindsay stared, unsure of what to say.

"Um… that's cool… I once tried to weave a basket underwater! But it was really hard, once I found out I couldn't breathe."

"Oh, you have got to be kidding me," scoffed Heather, a thin Japanese girl.

"No, it's true!" Lindsay insisted, not sensing the sarcasm. "But luckily, I woke up to this one really hot lifeguard kissing me. He claimed he was doing CPR, but I knew the truth."

"I can't believe I have to spend a whole summer with theses people," Heather groaned.

Noah, standing beside her, shut his book. "You're telling me. From what I've seen, everyone is going to be a brain-dead high school stereotype with pure brawn and no brain to match. I'm probably going to be one of the only intellectual ones on my team."

"Get away from me, loser," fumed Heather, stomping past him. Noah rolled his eyes and again opened his book.

"Ah, stereotypical queen bee type snob. Top of the metaphorical food chain in high school, thinks she's above everyone around her, until she enters the real world and promptly crashes and burns. No creativity in the cast choice whatsoever. "

"Woah! I see the island, dudes! We're almost there!" A pink-shirted teen sporting a cowboy hat laughed. "We're gonna be on Total Drama! This is gonna be one huge party, dudes!"

"Geoff, Izzy, and Leshawna!"

"I know, right? It's gonna be so crazy! Just like my psychotherapist says I am. Ooh, so much fun!"

Leshawna gave Izzy an amused expression. "You for real's, girl?"

"Yeah! I totally am! Nothin's standin' in the way of my million dollars! Be it bears or sharks or Chef, I'll take them all down!"

Leshawna chuckled. "Well, I approve of your enthusiasm, girlfriend, but you forgot one thing in your way: me."

"This is gonna be so rockin', guys!" Geoff high-fived both of them. "I hope we all end up on the same team!"

"Bridgette, Eva, and Cody!"

Bridgette inhaled the sweet sea air, clutching her surfboard tighter. "Ah, this is so great!" she said to Eva. "Aren't you so excited for this?"

"Whatever," grunted Eva, pumping dumbbells. Bridgette's smile died.

"Hey, good looking ladies." Cody startled them both as he put his arms around their shoulders. "Name's Cody. But you can call me the Codester. I hope we all get to know each other well over the course of this game."

Eva dropped a weight on his foot, making him yelp in pain. "Oops," she said insincerely.

"Beth and Tyler!"

"Oh my gosh! Aren't you excited?" the farm girl exclaimed, shaking the sporting enthusiast. Her braces caused her to lisp as she spoke.

"Yeah, absolutely! It makes me want to do a backflip!" Impressively, Tyler managed to do a full backflip – but was too close to the railing, and fell to a lower level of the ship, landing next to a heavily pierced punk who was busy carving a skull symbol into the boat's side.

The delinquent looked at Tyler and chuckled. "Nice one, man."

"And Duncan!" finished Chris.

The host turned back to the camera. "That's right! Get ready for our roughest, toughest, most explosive season yet!" Chris pulled a remote out from behind his back and pressed a button. The new cast's yacht abruptly exploded, throwing its screaming occupants into the air.

Chris finished his drink, and threw it over his shoulder. "Right here, on Total… Drama… Revenge of the Island!"

_(Cut to theme song)_

* * *

Tyler screamed as he sailed through the air, landing on a pointed rock jutting out of the ocean. He groaned as he slid into the water.

"Chris Maclean is dead! You hear me, Chris? Dead!" Duncan snarled, paddling viciously for shore. Around them, the other new contestants flailed in the water, shocked, scared, and angry.

"How dare he?" cried Courtney. "All of my clothes were on that boat! What am I supposed to wear?"

"I know, how will I ever get my luggage back?" asked Lindsay. "Oh, wait, there it is." A fully-stuffed leopard-print suitcase hurtled from the sky and knocked Courtney underwater.

Bridgette's head broke the surface, and she coughed and spluttered. "My surfboard!" she cried. "Where is it?" She gasped as she spotted Beth a few yards away, fighting to remain above the surface. The ocean expert wrapped her arms around Beth lifeguard-style, keeping the farm girl's head above the water as she kicked to shore.

"Thanks," Beth coughed. "I'm not that strong a swimmer, and the explosion really freaked me out."

"It's okay," soothed Bridgette. "Don't worry. I'm a trained lifeguard."

Izzy laughed maniacally, bouncing off the heads of Heather, Harold, and Ezekiel to get to shore. "Oh yeah! First on the beach! Go Izzy!"

Cody and Trent climbed onto land, coughing. A live fish flopped out of Cody's mouth, and he stared at it, horrified.

Bridgette hauled an exhausted Beth to dry land, before running back to the water. "You two!" she cried at Justin and Tyler, emerging from the surf. "You're athletic, right? You have to help those who can't swim!"

Justin smiled at her and nodded (which almost caused Bridgette to faint), and Tyler saluted her, saying, "Affirmative-vio, miss campadro! Time to show why I was my swim team's most prized back-up swimmer!" The three plunged into the water.

Eva stomped onto the beach. "I'm gonna kill Chris!"

"Yeah, not if I kill him first." Duncan tried to push her aside, but the weightlifter held steady, getting into a grappling contest with Duncan. The delinquent was quite surprised when she finally grew bored and simply threw him back into the sea.

Katie and Sadie looked ecstatic when Justin climbed back out of the water, one of them sitting on either of his shoulders, but were devastated when the model set them on the sand and jumped back into the water for another rescue.

Bridgette heaved scrawny Noah back to land, while Tyler and Geoff (who had, somehow, managed to keep his cowboy hat on the entire time) tried to calm a panicked and floundering DJ.

"Dude, it's okay," Tyler cried.

"Yeah, man. Besides, you're totally ripped. You look like a great swimmer," said Geoff.

"I know, but I'm terrified of water!" the giant cried. "I've had a very bad experience with wedgies and high dives!"

"Hey, you wanna ride on my back to shore, big guy?" Tyler asked.

DJ sniffed. "Okay. That could work, I guess." He climbed onto Tyler's back, but his weight sent them both underwater. Geoff gasped, and dove after them; the two managed to support DJ between themselves and carry him back to shore.

Coughing and sopping, the last few stragglers managed to crowd onto the beach. "My shoes are ruined!" Heather snarled.

"Help! Help!" Owen spluttered, flailing in the water. "I'm drowning! Oh, I'm gonna die so hard that it's gonna kill me!"

"Dude?" said Tyler, walking by. "Stand up."

Owen did so. The water was only waist deep. "Oh!" He chuckled. "Thanks, dude. You totally saved my bacon."

The contestants, exhausted after their impromptu swim, collapsed on the beach, emptying their shoes of water and wringing out their clothes. "Twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two…" Bridgette did a quick head count. "How many of us were there again?"

"Twenty-two, I think," said Courtney. "Yes. Twenty-two. I'm sure of it."

The surfer sighed in relief. "Good. We got everybody."

"What in the world is Chris thinking?" Gwen cried, as Geoff patted a shaking DJ. "He could have killed us!"

"And what about all of our stuff?" asked Harold.

"Well when Chris shows up, I have some strong words to tell him," huffed Courtney, crossing her arms. "Some very strong words!"

"Forget that," said Leshawna. "The only word he's gettin' is my fist."

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette** Well, things could have definitely gone better. We've barely been here two minutes and we've already been blown up, had our luggage lost, and had several near-drownings. I know this show is supposed to be tough, but isn't that, like, illegal or something?

**Ezekiel **(Pulling a crab off of his ear) I've never been around other kids, eh. I've been homeschooled my whole life. So, I'm hoping that this summer will give me the opportunity to meet a lot of new people and make new friends, eh!

**Heather **(Wringing out her hair) Urrgh! Chris is so going down when I get my hands on him! Luckily, the only reason I'm staying here is so I can get that million dollar prize. All these other losers? Simply tools that I'll use to claw my way up the ladder. I've seen all kinds of these shows, I know how they work.

**Geoff** Whoo! I'm on TV, dudes! This is totally awesome! Except for the whole blowing up the ship thing, and all my luggage getting lost and stuff, but hey! They'll get it back, right? And all the people here are awesome and super friendly! Hey, it may have had a rocky start, but things'll get better!

**Gwen **I hate this already! I knew this was going to be bad, but freaking blowing us up first thing? Are they out of their minds? I joined this to try to win one million dollars, not die in a raging inferno!

**Cody** Yeah. I pretty much consider myself God's gift to women. I'm one of the most popular guys at my school, and I know the ladies here will be crawling all over me. But that Gwen… she's sure something. I like the mysterious ones.

* * *

Bridgette, Tyler, and Justin sat in a circle, chatting to one another. "You two did a great job out there. Thanks for all the help," said Bridgette.

"Of course," said Tyler proudly. "First rule of team sports: Never leave a man behind!" Justin nodded in agreement.

Duncan turned around to face Justin. "So what's your deal, Sir Lady Killer? The producers wanted to have an Alejandro clone?"

Justin smiled, and shrugged. "Guess the casters were hoping that another pretty person would cause as much drama as last time. Thankfully, I don't think of myself as the scheming or dishonest type."

"And what about you, Jo Two-Point-Oh?" asked the delinquent, turning to Eva.

Eva stiffened. "What did you just call me?"

"Oh, c'mon, you're both like her: You're both freaky girls, horrifyingly strong, have quite a temper…"

Eva rose to her feet, her angry wail scattering the contestants and causing Duncan to fall back in surprise. "HOW DARE YOU COMPARE ME TO THAT HORRIBLE, BACKSTABBING, HORRENDOUS, DISGUSTING LITTLE –"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Eva **Okay… I may have a little bit of a temper. But I plan to overcome that during my stay here. I can actually be a real leader, and take my team to victory every time! And if someone thinks otherwise, then I'll rearrange their way of thinking!

* * *

Geoff's head broke the surface of the water, holding a suitcase. "Got another one, dudes!"

"Ooh! That's mine!" Sadie gratefully accepted the large and very pink duffel bag from the very wet party dude. Trent, Geoff, Tyler, and Duncan were diving, trying to reclaim any pieces of luggage they could find. A small pile of soaking wet baggage sat on the beach, though many people were still missing their belongings.

"Hey, look what I found!" Geoff lifted an orange and red surfboard out from the depths. Bridgette squealed in glee and wrapped her arms around him.

"Oh, thank you, thank you! I don't know how I would live without my surfboard!"

"No problem at all, dude," grinned Geoff, more than happy to have an athletic and attractive blonde hugging him.

"Hey, I got something!" Tyler lifted a dog kennel out of the water. "Huh? What's in here?" He undid the latch, and a huge, scaly, crocodilian tank-of-a-creature snapped at him. "Woah!" he screamed, paddling away at high speed.

"Mittens!" Izzy squealed. She raced towards the water's edge, wrapping the man-sized turtle in a hug. "Oh, you're all right! Mommy missed you! Did you miss Mommy?"

"That thing's your pet?" Courtney was aghast.

"Oh, yeah, don't worry. He's perfectly friendly!" said Izzy. "Unless he's grouchy, angry, upset, hungry, he's having a bad day, he doesn't like you, or if he thinks attacking you would be funny."

"Woah…" Lindsay tentatively examined the prehistoric-looking turtle. "Can I pet it?" She shrieked as 'Mittens' snapped at her.

* * *

Confession Cam

**Leshawna** Is it just me, or is that Izzy girl some kind of crazy?

* * *

"That Chris better turn up soon," Leshawna told Gwen and Courtney, rising to her feet, "because I'm gonna change the way his head screws on!"

Harold stared at her, the scrawny teen's mouth agape. "What are you looking at, skinny?" she asked, though not in a mean-spirited way.

"I've never seen a girl like you in real life before."

"Excuse me?"

"You're real big and real loud."

Leshawna's amused expression immediately turned sour. "What did you just say to me? You want some of this? I'll show you big, baby!" Owen and Beth reacted quickly, each grabbing one of Leshawna's arms as she advanced upon Harold. The nerd, meanwhile, drew back into a fighting stance and was chopping the air ineffectually. "Bring it on, string bean!"

"Attention, fresh meat!" Chris Maclean's recognizable voice emanated from a pair of loudspeakers wrapped around a nearby tree. "To your left, you will see a trail leading into the forest. Run down it and head for the finish line!"

"What? No introductions?" DJ cried. "Aren't you going to take a few minutes to introduce us to the audience? Let us get to know each other? You did that for the first cast!"

"Hmm, let me think about it," Chris' voice said. "No! Now get jogging!"

"Hello, what about our luggage?" Courtney snarled. "I'm still missing all my stuff!"

"Don't worry, one of our interns will dive and retrieve the rest of you losers' baggage later. As soon as he's finished dealing with another matter."

* * *

Out to sea, the spiky-haired intern stood on a rock, brandishing an oar. He valiantly swung at the giant tentacles surrounding him, fighting off the attacking beast.

* * *

"You know what? No!" Gwen cried. The goth collapsed on a rock. "You've already blown us up! I'm done! I'm staying here!"

"Ooh, that's not such a great idea," said Chris. "If you value your life, I would suggest staying in a group. That way, it's harder for the island's inhabitants to pick you off."

"Oh, yeah. Those rabbits sure can be ferocious." Duncan elbowed Tyler, who sniggered. "Ever seen _Night of the Lepus_?" Tyler shook his head. "Good. Never google that."

"Oh, _Night of the Lepus_?" Harold said. "I love that movie!"

Duncan frowned. "And the little respect that I had to start out for you is now completely gone."

"The tiniest sound can set them off," continued Chris. "Like THIS!" The sound of an air horn blasted through the speakers, echoing across the island and rattling the contestants' teeth. It was followed by a bloodthirsty roar from the forest, and as they watched a huge tree in the distance was felled, sending flocks of birds flying. A second tree was knocked down, and the sound of heavy footsteps reverberated across the ground. The contestants screamed and sprinted down the trail. Owen threw Gwen over his shoulder as he ran for it.

"Don't worry, buddy, I'll save ya!"

"Put me dowwwn!" Gwen screamed as she was carried down the beach.

* * *

At first glance, the forest looked like a regular pine forest, though upon further inspection something seemed amiss. A bluebird alighted on a branch and began to sing when a chameleon-like tongue shot out of a hole in the tree and dragged the animal in. Harold gulped as he saw this.

A small finish line stretched between two pine trees; Eva, not even having broken a sweat, was the first to cross it. "Chef!" She cried, spotting the familiar cook. "Where's Chris Maclean? I have a bone to pick with him! As in his bones, being ripped out of his body!"

"You'll see Chris soon enough, Roid-Monkey!" Chef snarled. "First, take two steps to you left! You are on Team A." Justin crossed the finish line next, looking hardly worked but rather worried, casting nervous glances at the forest. "Alejandro Clone, two steps right, you're on Team B." Justin nodded, doing as he was told. DJ followed, looking terrified.

"What was that thing?" the brickhouse asked, shaking.

"You'll find out when it's time to find out, Mama's Boy! Get your crybaby butt on Team A!"

DJ joined Eva. The weightlifter's glare seemed to make him even more shaken.

"Treehugging Hippie!" Chef said to Bridgette, the athletic girl panting with her hands on her knees. "You're on Team B!"

"What was in the forest?" Bridgette cried. "What's going on here?"

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?" Chef roared. "Get to your team like I told you to!" Duncan was next. "Jailbird, Team A!"

Duncan joined DJ and Eva, the latter throwing him a nasty glare. The criminal barely spared her a glance.

Izzy came next, seemingly untired after carrying her tank-like pet the entire length of the trail. "Yeah! That was so fun! Didn't you like that, Mittens? I bet you did!" She scratched the turtle's chin.

"Crazy Girl, Team B. Freaky dinosaur-thing, Team A!"

"What? No!" Izzy cried. "I can't be separated from Mittens! He rescued me as a baby and raised me as one of his own!"

"That's a turtle, not a contestant," Courtney said, panting as she reached the finish line. "It didn't even audition."

"Then fine, Little Miss Perfect!" Chef said. "Take its place on Team A!"

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!" Izzy cried, squeezing Courtney. "You're, like, my best friend now!"

"Sure, whatever," said Courtney, too exhausted to deal with Izzy. "Can you please get off of me?"

"Oh, yeah, sure," said Izzy, letting her go.

Ezekiel, Trent, and Geoff were the next to arrive. "Canadian Redneck, Team B. Dreamy Smile, Team A. Put A Shirt On, Team B."

Ezekiel and Geoff made their way to Team A, while Trent went to Team B. Lindsay came running up, tripping over a rock and falling into the mud. "Oh, this is worse than that time the tanning booth broke down," she moaned.

"Dumb Blonde, Team A!" Cody, Tyler, and Leshawna were next, all panting and sweating profusely. "Scrawny Kid, Team B! Wannabe Athlete, Team A! Chubby Girl, Team B!"

Leshawna immediately shook off her exhaustion. "What did you call me, you wannabe, cross-dressin', bad cookin', washed-up, ugly as a rump, miserable excuse for a camp chef?" With every insult, she had taken a step closer to Chef, until he was cowering under her glower.

"I'm sorry! Beautiful, young, attractive lady! Team B!" he howled.

"That's better." Leshawna strutted to her team, where Cody rewarded her with a high-five.

Beth was next. "Brace-filled face, Team A!"

Katie and Sadie were the next to arrive, Katie supporting Sadie as the larger teen panted. "We made it, Sadie! We did it!"

"Ugly Twin, Team B! Uglier Twin, Team A!"

"Excuse me?" Leshawna shouted. Chef cringed and tried again.

"Sadie, would you please go onto Team B. Katie, would you please go onto Team A."

"What?" Sadie cried, hugging Katie close. "You can't separate us! We do everything together!"

"If I'm away from Sadie, I'll die!"

"And I'll break out in a horrible rash!"

"Move, maggots, move!" The two scattered at Chef's angry roar, looking sorrowfully at the other from their teams. Geoff patted Sadie's shoulder.

Heather was next. The snobby girl strutted across the finish line. "What's wrong with you, Skinny Girl? Too good to run?"

"Yeah, I don't run in heels," she replied, examining her nails.

"Team B!" Chef roared.

Harold stumbled across the line, clutching his chest. "I think I'm having heart palpitations," he groaned. He was knocked to the ground as Owen skidded across the finish line, holding Gwen under one arm and Noah under the other.

"Clear the way, stat! We've got a severe case of someone who's vehemently against physical activity!" Owen threw Noah, unconscious, and Gwen, fully conscious, to the ground, and began pumping Noah's chest. "Come on! Live! Don't give up on me!"

Owen stood, getting into a jumping position, as Noah coughed and woke up. "No, wait, I'm okay!" the brainiac cried, but was too late to stop Owen's jump. The large teen's sizeable rump landed on Noah's chest with a grimace-summoning crack.

The others winced. Noah groaned. "He lives!" Owen screamed.

"Bully Magnet, Team A! Gruesome Chick, Team B! Walking Lardbucket, Team A! Flat As A Pancake, Team B!"

The last stragglers marched to their respective sides. "I can't believe I'm doing this," moaned Gwen.

"Why'd you sign up for the show then, dude?" asked Geoff. "Everyone knows Total Drama loves to rough up its contestants. Just… not usually to the extent they've done to us so far."

"I did it on a dare from my brother," Gwen replied, sulking. "I didn't expect to get in. But, truthfully…" She looked slightly embarrassed. "I have a single mom, and we could really use a million dollars. I know my chances of winning are small, but since I got on, I thought I might as well try."

"I hear that, sister." DJ nodded from the other team. "I joined to use the prize money to help my Mama move back to Jamaica if I won. Not to get blown up!"

"And on that note, where's Chris?" Eva snarled to Chef. "I need to put the hurt on the overgelled wash-up!"

"Woah, harsh words! Now now, Eva. You're going to hurt my feelings."

The contestants looked up in surprise as a figure descended form the treetops on a jetpack. It was Chris Maclean, but a different Chris Maclean than they had seen on television. The host's stark-black hair was now a snowy white, much longer than before, and was wrapped into a ponytail. Large, dark shades covered his eyes, as black as the malicious-looking business suit that had replaced his signature navy blue button-up and khaki pants. The television personality had worked for so many years to solidify his famous image, the new contestants were quite surprised to find out that he had changed it, especially from a chill and handsome look to this more foreboding and intimidating one.

"Chris? Is that really Chris Maclean?" gaped Sadie.

"I thought he was supposed to look different, eh," said Ezekiel, grabbing the edges of his hat.

"Woah. Didn't see that coming," said Duncan. Beside him, Eva shot towards Chris, bloodlust in her eyes. "Hey, wait! I called dibs on beating him!" The punk raced after her.

With a gorilla-like snarl, Eva leapt at the host, but he calmly ascended a few feet so that he was just out of reach of the fitness buff's angry swipe. "Yeah, we thought some of you newbies might react like that," he chuckled. "Chef?"

Chef nodded, and shot a tranquilizer gun at Eva. Her eyes widened in surprise, and she collapsed, the dart in her rump pointing towards the air as she snored. "On second thought, you can have him," Duncan said to the unconscious girl, backing up to his team.

"Much better," Chris said, landing next to Eva and shutting off the jetpack.

"Chris Maclean! An honor to meet you, man!" Geoff rushed towards him, hand eagerly extended to shake, but Chris shoved the partier to the ground.

"Look but don't touch, thank you!" Chris sang, as Geoff looked hurt and surprised. "Now, campers, I'd like to give you a big welcome to Total Drama: Revenge of the Island!" He raised his hands theatrically.

"Now now now, just wait a minute!" Courtney shook her head and waved her hands. "What on earth is going on here? And what was that animal in the forest?"

"Relax, it'll all be explained eventually." Chris chuckled, and then laughed, starting out normal-sounding but quickly rising in intensity. The campers exchanged awkward glances with one another as Chris' laughter transformed into a maniacal, insanity-filled howl, rising up to the treetops like that of a mad scientist's who had just brought something inanimate back to life. Finally, the man sighed in joviality and wiped a tear from his eye. "Ah. Now, this season of Total Drama is going to be a little different. First off, somebody is going to be voted off in every episode. There will be no reward challenges whatsoever!" This caused a few grumbles within the cast. "But, since you're all first-timers, I've decided to cut you a little slack and hide this baby in the forest!" He lifted a wooden bust of his own head out from behind his back. "A signature Maclean brand Chris head! Whoever finds this sexy hunk of hunk will be granted immunity from one elimination! That's right! Even if all their teammates vote them out, they'll still be in the game! Whoever finds this bad boy will be the greatest Total Drama player ever!"

An angelic singing was heard as Chris announced the immunity idol. Everyone looked at Chef, who closed his mouth and looked ashamed.

"Anywho," Chris continued, tucking the idol back into his suit, "I think it's time for some team names."

"Are you serious? We've been blown up! We've lost all our luggage! Some monstrous creature chased us down here! You really think we care about this stupid game at this point?" cried Gwen.

"Great suggestions, Gwen. But the team names have already been chosen, by _moi_. Team A, you shall henceforth be known as… The Toxic Rats!"

The 'Toxic Rats' exchanged looks amongst themselves.

"And Team B, you will be called… The Mutant Maggots!"

This name was received with as much enthusiasm as the last. "Um, what's with all the references to radioactivity?" chuckled Cody.

The horrifying roar that they had heard from the beach suddenly split the forest. In the foliage ahead, they saw a gargantuan tree fall to the forest floor.

Owen screamed, and hugged Harold in terror. "It's the monster!" cried Sadie.

"Oh, dudes, this is so not good!" exclaimed Trent.

A ghastly moan arose from the greenery, and another tree was felled, much closer this time. The campers screamed, cowering. A third tree fell, and a small, hairless squirrel glided from the sky on membranes between its legs and landed in front of the crowd.

The teenagers, having fallen to the ground in fear, now stared in surprise at the animal, wondering if this was some kind of joke. "What's up with the stupid bald squirrel?" Duncan asked.

The flying squirrel blinked, its eyelids closing horizontally instead of vertically, drawing several gasps. "Are you frontin' me?" asked Leshawna.

"What's wrong with its eyes?" said Tyler.

"You see, since the island was vacated for two seasons, we didn't want it to just sit here and be useless," said Chris, as the squirrel twitched its nose and sniffed. "So, we decided to make a few bucks off of it by renting it out to a nice, family-oriented biohazardous waste disposal company. Sweet people."

Sinking feelings in their guts, the teenagers questioned how they failed to notice the toxic-waste-labeled barrels stuffed in tree hollows and scattered throughout the forest, green slime leaking from them.

"However, the toxic waste appears to be having a teensy impact on the local flora and fauna." As Chris spoke, the squirrel flicked out its tongue and snagged a butterfly out of the air.

"Are you kidding me? Radioactivity?" Gwen screamed.

"A mutant squirrel?" Harold walked over to the tiny rodent, which followed him with large, innocent eyes. "That's wicked!" The squirrel suddenly shot a jolt of red electricity out of its eyes, scorching the ground at Harold's feet. The nerd gasped and jumped into Geoff's arms, and the pseudo-cowboy held him tight, equally frightened. The rodent blew a raspberry and hopped into the forest, chuckling, as Chris shook in laughter.

"Most… danger… _EVER!_" the host sang.

"Are you serious? You're having us stay on an island littered with toxic waste?" Bridgette cried, and avid environmentalist. "Do you know how unhealthy that could be for us? And…" she gasped, putting two and two together. "That's why you've changed your look, isn't it? Your hair went white from too much exposure while preparing for this season, and you decided to change everything else with it!"

The others were looking quite worried now. "I wanna go home," moaned DJ.

"True," said Courtney. "I prepared myself for harsh physical challenges when I got onto the show, but even this is too much. I would like to forfeit." Several others nodded.

"You'll leave when I say you can leave!" snapped Chris. "Besides, all of you losers have already signed your contracts for this season. You don't have a choice."

"I'd rather face legal ramifications than be killed on a stupid television show," Heather murmured, crossing her arms.

"Oh, c'mon, guys," Owen chuckled. "I'm sure it can't be all that bad. They always make the interns test the challenges on this show to make sure it's survivable. There's not any real danger, right?"

"Right!" said Chris. "At least, we would if any of our interns were around. They're all kind of busy at the moment."

* * *

A tentacle rose from the ocean, throwing the spiky-haired intern onto the beach. The intern lifted his head and coughed up sand as the tentacle retreated into the water.

* * *

"Now it's time to give out some rewards!" Chris looked at Eva, snoozing comfortably on the ground. "Eva, since you came in first, you've won the Toxic Rats… a hacksaw!" Chris pointed to Chef, unenthusiastically holding a hacksaw as he bounced on a small trampoline. "And Mutant Maggots, as the runner-ups, you get the trampoline!"

Chef cried out as he landed near the edge of the trampoline, crashing to the ground and sending the two rewards flying. Duncan laughed at this, until the handle of the hacksaw collided with his face. Noah chuckled at this, until the trampoline barreled him over.

"Aw, I wanted to slice things!" Izzy complained. Mittens snapped in agreement.

"And just what are these for?" Leshawna asked, kicking their trampoline.

"I'll give you a hint." Chris pulled out a grey, rectangular slab, a sticky pink substance on one side and an image of his face on the other. "They both have something to do with this bomb!"

The teenagers gasped, automatically stepping backwards.

"No. No, no, no, no," said Gwen. "You are not going to blow us up again."

"Won't I?" Chris chuckled. "Find out here, after the break!"

* * *

Confession Cam

**Bridgette** Toxic waste? What is Chris thinking? I know he has a reputation for being eccentric, but has he totally lost his mind?

**DJ **I don't feel so good about this…

**Gwen** (Eyes wide) What have I gotten myself into?

* * *

**Toxic Rats:** Eva, DJ, Duncan, Courtney, Trent, Lindsay, Tyler, Beth, Katie, Harold, Owen

**Mutant Maggots:** Justin, Bridgette, Izzy, Ezekiel, Geoff, Cody, Leshawna, Sadie, Heather, Gwen, Noah

* * *

So, what'd you think? Please leave your thoughts in a review. Total Drama Ocean chapter coming up next!

Also, there's a new poll that will probably have absolutely nothing to do with a sequel to Total Drama Ocean that is definitely not going to happen.


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